Thursday, April 13, 2017

Sea-drift

I decided to enter a contest put on by UK Amazon. According to the rules, the entry has to be a book or story published between February and May of 2017. So, I pulled a book I wrote about ten years ago out of a dark drawer and I've been polishing it up. One of the main problems with it is (I think) I'm a much better writer now than I was back then.

The book was once called A Pebble in His Pocket, then I renamed it Shell Charms. Now, it's entitled Sea-Drift. It's a (rather girlie) mystery. Two different editors said my early plots were "too complicated," so as I'm editing it, I'm wondering is this too convoluted? I'm also wondering if my readers will like it. It's darker and grittier than what I've been writing. There's no magic. No one goes back in time...

While I was working on it, I took it to a writer's conference and was lucky enough to meet with a writer I really admire who read the first chapter and offered his opinion. He said, this sounds like you can't decide whether you want to be a mystery or a romance writer. After chatting for a few minutes, he said, "You're a mystery writer." He wasn't alone in his opinion. I had a writing instructor that I worked with for a few years who once told me, "YOU ARE A MYSTERY WRITER!" And then indie publishing came along and I decided I could write whatever I wanted.

But this one isn't for me, or my readers, it's been tweaked for a contest. And it's a mystery. But it has a lot of romance...sort of...Hopefully, I'll get it cleaned up enough so that it has a fighting chance in the contest.

I got a review on Beyond the Fortuneteller's Tent today that I really like.

I thoroughly enjoyed the history, the mystery, and the way time was warped into past and present. The plot was believable as much as time travel and life in the "thin" can be. But the details of life in the 1600s were just delightfully accurate from what we know of those days. The only thing that seemed strange was the accuracy of the guns. But the protection of the King James Bible was not only ingenious, but probably very accurate considering the changes that this Bible made in the understanding of God's Word. Kristy Tate did not overdo the concerns about the corruption of the church and clergy, nor did she really put the gentry to task about their way of life, but she did a good job of showing the lack of justice and the lack of opportunities for those who wanted to change their lives.

Sea-Drift also combines history and mystery and it's nice to know that there are readers who like to read what I like to write.

Here's the first unedited chapter of Sea-drift. I'll post the revised chapter soon.

CHAPTER 1

Some moments beg to be retold, some are best forgotten, @ beforethere are the unforgettable moments, the ones unheralded, unanticipated, unprecedented. Love doesn’t always happen at first sight. Scarlet and Rhett, Lancelot and Guinevere, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, all took some foreplay, some warming up, but when the Norse god walked into Mim’s backlit by the morning sun, Maisie knew her life had changed. The history eluding her, the story that didn’t want to be told, it would all go unnoted. Hex her editor, doom the deadline. Thor, god of thunder and fair weather, had arrived.
He stood on the large pink and purple paisley swirls that Les had painted on the cement floor, and none of the fussy femininity surrounding him detracted from his virility. He chose a table beside wrought iron shelves overflowing with an eclectic collection of china pieces, antique books, etchings, and prints. An eighteenth century flow blue tea pot shared a shelf with a flying saucer wooden burl box. A Viking sat among Rocco and Baroque decorative art.
Thor had a swarthy friend who ordered a ham and cheese croissant. Maisie wrote down their orders, and for a moment, felt fortunate that she was writing in the café rather than at her desk. All thoughts of the Thurstons, Laguna’s founding family, walked out the door. She didn’t have writer’s block. Why write a book about Laguna’s history when she could write breakfast food? Who needed a book contract in Laguna, a place of sunshine and Norse Gods? Maisie, who’d abandoned her nearly completed dissertation to write for a literary magazine, who’d left the magazine to write a book, who understood and respected the power of words, tapped her pencil against her notepad, and murmured, “That’ll be right up.” Brilliant.
Maisie dished the men’s orders and inhaled the heady scents of fresh baked bread, cheese and coffee. After adding a couple of extra strawberries to their plates she willed herself not to stare. She stepped away from Thor and the Italian, hoping distance could douse her attraction. Maisie focused on Mrs. Henderson, one of the Mercantile’s best costumers.
“I don’t know, Maisie.” Mrs. Henderson held up a swatch of blue and white tulle, cocked her head and tapped her size six shoe. “It’s just such an important decision…” her voice trailed away and her eyes flicked toward the pastry counter.
“Maybe an éclair would make the decision easier,” Maisie said, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Oh, I really couldn’t. Ralph, my trainer, he’s a calorie cop.” Mrs. Henderson began to twist the tulle in her ring laden fingers, giggling. “But the cream in an éclair is low carb.”
While Mrs. Henderson tangled with decisions, Maisie watched Thor lounging between a display of antique hat pins and a Victorian gilded mirror. She could see him and his reflection and he seemed to fill the room. In reality, he held a fork, but in her mind he held the magic hammer, Mjolnir, capable of throwing lightning bolts to her heart. His companion, the Italian, held a napkin. Maisie shifted from one foot to the next, wearing a pleasant face that hopefully didn’t reveal Norse deity worshipping thoughts.
While she waited for Mrs. Henderson’s choice, she wondered if the woman had felt the same rush of pleasure for her husband. Maisie had never met Mr. Henderson, but she’d heard from Mim that he’d recently died, suddenly, tragically, and yet days later Mrs. Henderson was debating the merits of pottery bits.
Maisie raised her eyebrows, smiled and tried not to look at Mrs. Henderson’s neck, one of the few physical evidences of the widow’s age. Mrs. Henderson had a forty year old face, high, pointy teenage breasts and a geriatric neck. Maisie allowed herself another sneak peek at Thor’s biceps, swallowed and said, “Actually, I just made the éclairs this morning. They’re mostly eggs, protein rich.”
Mrs. Henderson’s glance flitted between an early Staffordshire, a Majolica teapot and the alluring éclair. Maisie looked out the window at the marine layer billowing off Laguna’s shore. Even though the traditional school year had started a few weeks ago, as the sun rose the sidewalks and beach would fill with tourists in Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts. Maisie’s gazed returned to Thor’s thick, tanned forearms and Rolex watch. No ring. The Italian looked as if his shoulders and chest were about to burst his polo shirt.
Maisie turned her attention to Mrs. Henderson and noticed the woman’s tired eyes, the soft sagging skin beneath her chin. Maisie wanted to offer sympathy for Mrs. Henderson’s loss, but she didn’t know how, so instead she said, “Maybe just a nice tea or a glass of juice.”
Mrs. Henderson sniffed. “When does Mim get back? She’s always very good with these decisions.”
Considering her aunt’s swollen face and swatches of bandages, Maisie gave the rehearsed response. “About a month, I think.” A month of pain sacrificed to vanity.
Mrs. Henderson threw up her hands. “Oh what the hay! You’ve convinced me! I’ll get the Staffordshire and an éclair!”
Maisie took a step backward. “Hmm, great. I’ll wrap up the teapot, it’s a lovely piece.”
Mrs. Henderson, content with her purchase, said, “I remember when Mim brought it home from the Lake District.”
Maisie stopped listening; she remembered Mim finding the piece on E-bay. She carefully removed the pot from its place among the Bardollos and McCoys and slipped into the back room. “It’ll take me just a sec to wrap this up,” she called over her shoulder.
She passed Whistler, a stringy Jack Russell terrier sitting on his bed near the doorway. He let out a small grunt and rutted around for his ball. Maisie had let him in to the shop because she’d felt both guilty and sorry for him. Uncle Les had tired of him and had put him in his kennel in the alley. Maisie had tired of his cries. He didn’t seem any less crotchety, let alone happy, in his new place. He licked his wounded paw and worried the bandage around his foreleg. He reminded Maisie of the rattlesnake adage, the smaller the snake the meaner the bite.
The backroom could have been on a different planet. While the front of the shop had been decorated by Les, an artist with fussy flair, the back of the shop was all Mim. Antiques, what-nots and whatevers had been piled into towers that loomed to block the meager light streaming from high, dusty windows. The kitchen grill, sink and cutting board were frequently hiding behind Mim’s latest acquisitions: only the stove-oven combo remained safe from clutter. Chairs, tables and a grandfather clock hung from the pipes that crisscrossed the ceiling. Maisie tried not to think of earthquakes.
She twirled the pot in bubble wrap, sealed it with a Mim’s Mercantile sticker and placed it in one of the signature pink paisley bags. She emerged from the dark, dusty back into the bright, sunny store in time to see Whistler leap in the air. While the Thor and the Italian fumbled in their pockets and counted change, Whistler snagged what remained of the croissant and bolted out the door.
“What the--” Italian began.
Thor burst into a laugh.
Maisie groaned.
Thor took note of her distress. “I’ll get him.”
The Italian stopped laughing. “No, I’ll get him.”
“Please, don’t bother-” Maisie began, watching Whistler streak down the sidewalk, his bandage waving in the air like a flag of victory.
Thor and the Italian looked at each other momentarily @ beforeas if tele pathing a silent GO, they bolted. For a moment they wrestled in the doorway, @ beforethe Italian gave Thor a good natured shove back into the store and tore up the sidewalk. Thor overtook him by the intersection.
Maisie thought about joining them, hustling Mrs. Henderson out the door, closing the shop, chasing Thor, Italian and Whistler, but a man dressed in a dark blazer, sturdy brown shoes and sunglasses stood in front of the gaping front door, watching the men and dog weave up the sidewalk. After some hesitation, he entered the shop, making two customers Maisie would need to hustle. He fiddled with the rim of his glasses, but left them on to shield his eyes.
Mrs. Henderson nodded her head at a dog’s toy in the corner. Maisie gave the man another look @ beforetried to nonchalantly kick a squeaky mouse behind the counter. Sighing, she knew that chasing Whistler would only encourage him. Left alone, the dog would come home when he was hungry, and he was always hungry, but if someone gave chase, he could be gone all the day. He wouldn’t completely disappear, he’d toy his followers, rag them with near captures and taunt them with close encounters.
Mrs. Henderson cleared her throat. She stood, drumming her long French manicured nails on the glass of the pastry counter. She dipped her head again at the customer standing in front of the hatpin collection, an unfathomable expression on his face. He didn’t seem the hatpin sort; in fact, Maisie wouldn’t have marked him as a collector. He seemed too large and masculine for Mim’s shop, like a Scottish highlander crashing a lady’s tea. Maisie followed Mrs. Henderson’s pointed gaze toward the man’s waistband and saw a leather holster, a flash of metal. Her heart quickened and she relabeled the Scottish highlander into a highwayman.
Mrs. Henderson cleared her throat again and raised her eyebrows at Whistler’s abandoned rawhide bone lying beneath the bistro table.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Henderson,” Maisie said, hurrying to get the éclair while using her foot to scoot the dog chew behind a potted fichus. She opened the pastry case and pulled out a brownie. Fumbling with a Mim’s Mercantile bag, she licked her fingers and tried to open the bag. She could feel the man watching while she gave Mrs. Henderson an apologetic smile and shook the bag open.
“I wanted an éclair,” Mrs. Henderson said. She cast the man another glance, but he kept his sunglasses trained on Maisie. Mrs. Henderson turned her back to him. “FBI,” she mouthed.
Whistler hardly seemed worth an undercover agent, but Maisie’s cheeks flushed. It’d been irresponsible and thoughtless to allow the dog in the shop. Flustered, she set the brownie aside and fought the urge to lick the brownie’s frosting off her fingers. She’d forgotten the plastic gloves, a testament to her nervousness; finger licking and food serving shouldn’t be standard café practice. Under the shelter of the counter she slipped the plastic gloves over messy fingers and pulled an éclair out of the case. She took a deep breath @ beforeanother, trying to relax. Was this really easier than her job at LA Literary? She’d left the magazine to devote her time to writing, not sell pastries and chase dogs. Maisie glanced up the man had turned toward a pair of Les’ photographs of Avalon bay.
“You shouldn’t have invited Monster to the store,” Mrs. Henderson whispered.
Maisie nodded. She considered defending herself, but knew Mrs. Henderson was right. Even though the Jack Russell whined and cried when left alone, he should have stayed with Mim where he could chew and destroy, but not endanger a livelihood.
Maisie looked out the window and watched the dog and men dance down the sidewalk, dodging tourists, bumping into a man on rollerblades, interrupting a skateboarder. Whistler’s tail darted across the street, causing a BMW to brake quickly and skitter toward a parked VW van. A Hyundai bleeped as Thor and Italian lunged for the dog. Safely out of traffic, Whistler’s white rump disappeared into a hedge. Thor leaped over the plant while the Italian crouched on the sidewalk.
 @ beforeThor took off his shirt.
Mrs. Henderson cleared her throat again. “I said,” Mrs. Henderson raised her voice an octave, “that I’d like another éclair.”
Maisie reluctantly took her gaze off Thor’s muscular back. “Really?”
Mrs. Henderson twisted her lips into a sheepish, unnatural grin and gave the armed man a lowered eyelid appraising. “If you’re going to go to hell, you might as well go in a limo.”

Or in a back of a dog catcher van, Maisie thought. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson, I hope we’ll see you again soon,” she said, wondering how to rescue Whistler while a man with a concealed weapon considered a 1910 edition of Huckleberry Finn.



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