The book was once called A Pebble in His Pocket, then I renamed it Shell Charms. Now, it's entitled Sea-Drift. It's a (rather girlie) mystery. Two different editors said my early plots were "too complicated," so as I'm editing it, I'm wondering is this too convoluted? I'm also wondering if my readers will like it. It's darker and grittier than what I've been writing. There's no magic. No one goes back in time...
While I was working on it, I took it to a writer's conference and was lucky enough to meet with a writer I really admire who read the first chapter and offered his opinion. He said, this sounds like you can't decide whether you want to be a mystery or a romance writer. After chatting for a few minutes, he said, "You're a mystery writer." He wasn't alone in his opinion. I had a writing instructor that I worked with for a few years who once told me, "YOU ARE A MYSTERY WRITER!" And then indie publishing came along and I decided I could write whatever I wanted.
But this one isn't for me, or my readers, it's been tweaked for a contest. And it's a mystery. But it has a lot of romance...sort of...Hopefully, I'll get it cleaned up enough so that it has a fighting chance in the contest.
I got a review on Beyond the Fortuneteller's Tent today that I really like.
I thoroughly enjoyed the history, the mystery, and the way time was warped into past and present. The plot was believable as much as time travel and life in the "thin" can be. But the details of life in the 1600s were just delightfully accurate from what we know of those days. The only thing that seemed strange was the accuracy of the guns. But the protection of the King James Bible was not only ingenious, but probably very accurate considering the changes that this Bible made in the understanding of God's Word. Kristy Tate did not overdo the concerns about the corruption of the church and clergy, nor did she really put the gentry to task about their way of life, but she did a good job of showing the lack of justice and the lack of opportunities for those who wanted to change their lives.
Sea-Drift also combines history and mystery and it's nice to know that there are readers who like to read what I like to write.
Here's the first unedited chapter of Sea-drift. I'll post the revised chapter soon.
CHAPTER 1
Some
moments beg to be retold, some are best forgotten, @ beforethere are the
unforgettable moments, the ones unheralded, unanticipated, unprecedented. Love
doesn’t always happen at first sight. Scarlet and Rhett, Lancelot and
Guinevere, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, all took some foreplay, some warming up,
but when the Norse god walked into Mim’s backlit by the morning sun, Maisie
knew her life had changed. The history eluding her, the story that didn’t want
to be told, it would all go unnoted. Hex her editor, doom the deadline. Thor,
god of thunder and fair weather, had arrived.
He
stood on the large pink and purple paisley swirls that Les had painted on the
cement floor, and none of the fussy femininity surrounding him detracted from
his virility. He chose a table beside wrought iron shelves overflowing with an
eclectic collection of china pieces, antique books, etchings, and prints. An
eighteenth century flow blue tea pot shared a shelf with a flying saucer wooden
burl box. A Viking sat among Rocco and Baroque decorative art.
Thor
had a swarthy friend who ordered a ham and cheese croissant. Maisie wrote down
their orders, and for a moment, felt fortunate that she was writing in the café
rather than at her desk. All thoughts of the Thurstons, Laguna’s founding family,
walked out the door. She didn’t have writer’s block. Why write a book about
Laguna’s history when she could write breakfast food? Who needed a book
contract in Laguna, a place of sunshine and Norse Gods? Maisie, who’d abandoned
her nearly completed dissertation to write for a literary magazine, who’d left
the magazine to write a book, who understood and respected the power of words, tapped
her pencil against her notepad, and murmured, “That’ll be right up.” Brilliant.
Maisie
dished the men’s orders and inhaled the heady scents of fresh baked bread,
cheese and coffee. After adding a couple of extra strawberries to their plates she
willed herself not to stare. She stepped away from Thor and the Italian, hoping
distance could douse her attraction. Maisie focused on Mrs. Henderson, one of
the Mercantile’s best costumers.
“I
don’t know, Maisie.” Mrs. Henderson held up a swatch of blue and white tulle,
cocked her head and tapped her size six shoe. “It’s just such an important
decision…” her voice trailed away and her eyes flicked toward the pastry
counter.
“Maybe
an éclair would make the decision easier,” Maisie said, wiping her hands on her
apron.
“Oh,
I really couldn’t. Ralph, my trainer, he’s a calorie cop.” Mrs. Henderson began
to twist the tulle in her ring laden fingers, giggling. “But the cream in an
éclair is low carb.”
While
Mrs. Henderson tangled with decisions, Maisie watched Thor lounging between a
display of antique hat pins and a Victorian gilded mirror. She could see him
and his reflection and he seemed to fill the room. In reality, he held a fork,
but in her mind he held the magic hammer, Mjolnir, capable of throwing
lightning bolts to her heart. His companion, the Italian, held a napkin. Maisie
shifted from one foot to the next, wearing a pleasant face that hopefully
didn’t reveal Norse deity worshipping thoughts.
While
she waited for Mrs. Henderson’s choice, she wondered if the woman had felt the
same rush of pleasure for her husband. Maisie had never met Mr. Henderson, but
she’d heard from Mim that he’d recently died, suddenly, tragically, and yet
days later Mrs. Henderson was debating the merits of pottery bits.
Maisie
raised her eyebrows, smiled and tried not to look at Mrs. Henderson’s neck, one
of the few physical evidences of the widow’s age. Mrs. Henderson had a forty
year old face, high, pointy teenage breasts and a geriatric neck. Maisie
allowed herself another sneak peek at Thor’s biceps, swallowed and said,
“Actually, I just made the éclairs this morning. They’re mostly eggs, protein
rich.”
Mrs.
Henderson’s glance flitted between an early Staffordshire, a Majolica teapot
and the alluring éclair. Maisie looked out the window at the marine layer
billowing off Laguna’s shore. Even though the traditional school year had
started a few weeks ago, as the sun rose the sidewalks and beach would fill
with tourists in Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts. Maisie’s gazed returned to
Thor’s thick, tanned forearms and Rolex watch. No ring. The Italian looked as
if his shoulders and chest were about to burst his polo shirt.
Maisie
turned her attention to Mrs. Henderson and noticed the woman’s tired eyes, the
soft sagging skin beneath her chin. Maisie wanted to offer sympathy for Mrs.
Henderson’s loss, but she didn’t know how, so instead she said, “Maybe just a
nice tea or a glass of juice.”
Mrs.
Henderson sniffed. “When does Mim get back? She’s always very good with these
decisions.”
Considering
her aunt’s swollen face and swatches of bandages, Maisie gave the rehearsed
response. “About a month, I think.” A month of pain sacrificed to vanity.
Mrs.
Henderson threw up her hands. “Oh what the hay! You’ve convinced me! I’ll get
the Staffordshire and an éclair!”
Maisie
took a step backward. “Hmm, great. I’ll wrap up the teapot, it’s a lovely
piece.”
Mrs.
Henderson, content with her purchase, said, “I remember when Mim brought it
home from the Lake District.”
Maisie
stopped listening; she remembered Mim finding the piece on E-bay. She carefully
removed the pot from its place among the Bardollos and McCoys and slipped into
the back room. “It’ll take me just a sec to wrap this up,” she called over her
shoulder.
She
passed Whistler, a stringy Jack Russell terrier sitting on his bed near the
doorway. He let out a small grunt and rutted around for his ball. Maisie had
let him in to the shop because she’d felt both guilty and sorry for him. Uncle
Les had tired of him and had put him in his kennel in the alley. Maisie had
tired of his cries. He didn’t seem any less crotchety, let alone happy, in his
new place. He licked his wounded paw and worried the bandage around his
foreleg. He reminded Maisie of the rattlesnake adage, the smaller the snake the
meaner the bite.
The
backroom could have been on a different planet. While the front of the shop had
been decorated by Les, an artist with fussy flair, the back of the shop was all
Mim. Antiques, what-nots and whatevers had been piled into towers that loomed to
block the meager light streaming from high, dusty windows. The kitchen grill,
sink and cutting board were frequently hiding behind Mim’s latest acquisitions:
only the stove-oven combo remained safe from clutter. Chairs, tables and a grandfather
clock hung from the pipes that crisscrossed the ceiling. Maisie tried not to
think of earthquakes.
She
twirled the pot in bubble wrap, sealed it with a Mim’s Mercantile sticker and
placed it in one of the signature pink paisley bags. She emerged from the dark,
dusty back into the bright, sunny store in time to see Whistler leap in the air.
While the Thor and the Italian fumbled in their pockets and counted change,
Whistler snagged what remained of the croissant and bolted out the door.
“What
the--” Italian began.
Thor
burst into a laugh.
Maisie
groaned.
Thor
took note of her distress. “I’ll get him.”
The
Italian stopped laughing. “No, I’ll get him.”
“Please,
don’t bother-” Maisie began, watching Whistler streak down the sidewalk, his
bandage waving in the air like a flag of victory.
Thor
and the Italian looked at each other momentarily @ beforeas if tele pathing a
silent GO, they bolted. For a moment they wrestled in the doorway, @ beforethe Italian
gave Thor a good natured shove back into the store and tore up the sidewalk. Thor
overtook him by the intersection.
Maisie
thought about joining them, hustling Mrs. Henderson out the door, closing the
shop, chasing Thor, Italian and Whistler, but a man dressed in a dark blazer,
sturdy brown shoes and sunglasses stood in front of the gaping front door,
watching the men and dog weave up the sidewalk. After some hesitation, he
entered the shop, making two customers Maisie would need to hustle. He fiddled
with the rim of his glasses, but left them on to shield his eyes.
Mrs.
Henderson nodded her head at a dog’s toy in the corner. Maisie gave the man
another look @ beforetried to nonchalantly kick a squeaky mouse behind the
counter. Sighing, she knew that chasing Whistler would only encourage him. Left
alone, the dog would come home when he was hungry, and he was always hungry,
but if someone gave chase, he could be gone all the day. He wouldn’t completely
disappear, he’d toy his followers, rag them with near captures and taunt them
with close encounters.
Mrs.
Henderson cleared her throat. She stood, drumming her long French manicured
nails on the glass of the pastry counter. She dipped her head again at the customer
standing in front of the hatpin collection, an unfathomable expression on his
face. He didn’t seem the hatpin sort; in fact, Maisie wouldn’t have marked him
as a collector. He seemed too large and masculine for Mim’s shop, like a
Scottish highlander crashing a lady’s tea. Maisie followed Mrs. Henderson’s
pointed gaze toward the man’s waistband and saw a leather holster, a flash of
metal. Her heart quickened and she relabeled the Scottish highlander into a
highwayman.
Mrs.
Henderson cleared her throat again and raised her eyebrows at Whistler’s
abandoned rawhide bone lying beneath the bistro table.
“I’m
sorry, Mrs. Henderson,” Maisie said, hurrying to get the éclair while using her
foot to scoot the dog chew behind a potted fichus. She opened the pastry case
and pulled out a brownie. Fumbling with a Mim’s Mercantile bag, she licked her
fingers and tried to open the bag. She could feel the man watching while she
gave Mrs. Henderson an apologetic smile and shook the bag open.
“I
wanted an éclair,” Mrs. Henderson said. She cast the man another glance, but he
kept his sunglasses trained on Maisie. Mrs. Henderson turned her back to him.
“FBI,” she mouthed.
Whistler
hardly seemed worth an undercover agent, but Maisie’s cheeks flushed. It’d been
irresponsible and thoughtless to allow the dog in the shop. Flustered, she set
the brownie aside and fought the urge to lick the brownie’s frosting off her
fingers. She’d forgotten the plastic gloves, a testament to her nervousness;
finger licking and food serving shouldn’t be standard café practice. Under the
shelter of the counter she slipped the plastic gloves over messy fingers and
pulled an éclair out of the case. She took a deep breath @ beforeanother,
trying to relax. Was this really easier than her job at LA Literary? She’d left the magazine to devote her time to writing,
not sell pastries and chase dogs. Maisie glanced up the man had turned toward a
pair of Les’ photographs of Avalon bay.
“You
shouldn’t have invited Monster to the store,” Mrs. Henderson whispered.
Maisie
nodded. She considered defending herself, but knew Mrs. Henderson was right. Even
though the Jack Russell whined and cried when left alone, he should have stayed
with Mim where he could chew and destroy, but not endanger a livelihood.
Maisie
looked out the window and watched the dog and men dance down the sidewalk,
dodging tourists, bumping into a man on rollerblades, interrupting a
skateboarder. Whistler’s tail darted across the street, causing a BMW to brake
quickly and skitter toward a parked VW van. A Hyundai bleeped as Thor and
Italian lunged for the dog. Safely out of traffic, Whistler’s white rump
disappeared into a hedge. Thor leaped over the plant while the Italian crouched
on the sidewalk.
@ beforeThor took off his shirt.
Mrs.
Henderson cleared her throat again. “I said,” Mrs. Henderson raised her voice
an octave, “that I’d like another éclair.”
Maisie
reluctantly took her gaze off Thor’s muscular back. “Really?”
Mrs.
Henderson twisted her lips into a sheepish, unnatural grin and gave the armed
man a lowered eyelid appraising. “If you’re going to go to hell, you might as
well go in a limo.”
Or in a back of a dog catcher van, Maisie thought. “Thank you,
Mrs. Henderson, I hope we’ll see you again soon,” she said, wondering how to
rescue Whistler while a man with a concealed weapon considered a 1910 edition
of Huckleberry Finn.
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