There's Always Someone Cooler Than You--Ben Fold's Wisdom

Someone once told me that love is “the concern for the spiritual welfare of another person.” Sometimes as a parent or a spouse, it’s easy to confuse love with laziness and/or fear. We think we’re being loving by biting our tongues, but are we really? Or are we avoiding conflict? I’m not saying that we should hover over our loved ones and constantly correct and critique them, but sometimes the loving thing to do is call someone when we think their behavior is self-destructive or rude.

Do you ever wonder if celebrities have moms? What I mean by that is, when we, as the public audience, witness a celebrity crash and burn don’t you ever wonder where their mom is and why she isn’t saying things like, “Honey, you don’t need to show your boobies even accidentally on national television,” or “Come on, sweetie, you know you aren’t an alien rock star.”

My dad has a saying that as soon as an apple thinks it’s reached the peak of perfection it begins to go rotten—and chances are that one rotten apple will spoil all the apples in the barrel. So true. Do you belong to a tribe where there is a shining star and the other members of the group tend to humor, go along, or acquiesce to everything the shining star says? We shouldn’t do that. Not because we’re mean and we think that the star should be knocked down a peg or two, but because IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE STAR. It’s not healthy. No one should be subjected to life of being surrounded by yes-men. Why?

Because every who’s-who will eventually become a who’s-he. And it’s good for our loved ones to know that they can either learn to be nice to you or they can learn to live without you. And yes, that principle applies to (adult) children, parents and rich uncles. When we treat someone with kid gloves we aren’t doing them any favors. Really. Sometimes being nice is really just being lazy. And cowardly.

I love this song by Ben Folds (and yes, it has some hard language which I’ve edited out. Sorry, Ben, but I’m brave enough to say—because I love you—“Honey, you don’t need to use those words. We think you’re brilliant even without cussing.)

 

There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You

Ben Folds

Smile
Like you've got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There's always someone out there cooler than you

I know that's hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They're into something that is too big to be
Expressed
Through their clothes
And they'll put up with all the poses you throw
And you won't
Even know

That they're not sizing you up
They know your mom * you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV

But they'll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside
You know there's always something in there to see

Beneath
The veneer
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the *
But you won't be it for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you

Now that I've got the disease
In a way I'm relieved
Cause' I don't have to stress about it like you do
I might just get up and dance
Or buy some acid washed pants
If you don't care
Then you got nothing to lose

And I won't
Hesitate
Cause every moment life is slipping away
It's ok

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the *
But you won't be it for long
Oh, there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
Oh, there's always someone cooler than

Life is wonderful
Life is beautiful
We're all children of
One big universe
So you don't have to be
A chump

And you know
(You know)
That I won't
(I won't)
Hesitate
(Hesitate)
Cause every moment life is slipping away
(Away)
It's ok
(It's ok)


Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
'Cause there's always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you're the *
But you won't be it for long
But there's always someone cooler than you
Oh yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
Because there's always someone cooler than you