I will be reading the following excerpt at my writer's group tonight. Tomorrow, I'll post their feedback just to show what can happen at a writer's critique group.
Wes
let his embarrassment carry him into the hotel and up the stairs to his suite.
He didn’t like staying at the hotel for the simple reason that hotels could
never feel like home, despite the fact that he had grown up living in one hotel
after another. He preferred his boat, but he could see how staying on the
Seabird with the dog didn’t make sense. Sharing the tiny cabin with the farting
dog would be miserable and he couldn’t very well make the dog sleep on the
deck. She’d probably fall overboard. Of course, she was so fat she’d most
likely float, but he didn’t want to bet a billion dollars on Betty’s buoyancy.
“Hey
you! Dr. Conner!” Vanessa Walgreen rounded the corner and Wes took an
instinctive step back.
No
one ever called him doctor. Which was fine with him. He didn’t get his Phds in
history and literature because he wanted to teach.
She
laughed and even from a hall length away, the sound sent a creeping chill down Wes’s
neck. Vanessa shook her finger at him. “Are you avoiding me?”
Absolutely,
Wes thought, but he said, “Why would you think that?”
Vanessa
swung toward him. She’d long lost the baby fat she’d carried into high school,
but he and his friends still called her the Loch Ness Monster.
She
wore a size too small, dark navy skirt and a silky white blouse with the top
three buttons undone, exposing a pink lace bra. Why did he find the woman from
the wedding with her knee-length pink crinoline skirt and neck-high lacy top so
much sexier? Same dark hair, same height. But the woman at the reception had
been lanky and lean while Vanessa had curves.
“With
you, I can never tell.” Vanessa slid toward him and pressed her hands against his
bare chest. Her nails looked like splotches of blood. “You’re a hard man to pin
down. We’ll be seeing a lot of each other now that you’ll be working at the
hotel.” Vanessa purred as she wrapped an arm around Wes’s waist.
“How
did you know about that?” Her perfume filled his head. What scent had the woman
from the wedding worn? He wished he knew. He typically didn’t like perfume.
“You
know I have my ways!” Vanessa winked. “Your grandfather and I,” she wrapped her
middle finger over her pointy finger, “are tight.”
Wes
winced. “You two are probably good for each other.”
“And
I’ll be good for you, too!” Vanessa bumped him with her hip. “I’ve missed you. Your
grandfather has missed you. Where have you been?”
“Marlin
fishing in Mexico.”
“It’s
pretty hard to run a hotel on the move.”
“There’s
a few Montlake hotels in Mexico.”
Vanessa
rolled her eyes. “But you’re home now.”
“Huh,
not for long.” Not long at all, if he could help it.
“Maybe
sometime you can take me on one of your adventures.”
“I
don’t think you would like it, Vanessa. Things get pretty rough.”
Vanessa’s
laugh trilled. “Oh, I like it rough.”
Wes
blinked at her and tried to imagine Vanessa on the slimy deck of a fishing
boat. “You don’t even know what that means.”
“You
should try me.”
Wes
cleared his throat and looked up and down the empty hallway for someone to
rescue him. “You know, as much fun as this has been, I have to get Betty
cleaned up. She’s had a rough night.”
“There’s
that word again.”
He
cocked an eyebrow at her.
She
answered his unspoken question. “Rough!” Laughing, she said the word again, but
this time while barking like a dog. “Ruff!
“Excuse
me.” He pulled away from and walked as fast as he could while towing Betty like
a beefy barge.
#
Letty
met her mom at Florence’s bakery for lunch for three reasons: she much
preferred Florence’s food to that of the hospital’s cafeteria, she enjoyed
spending time with her mom, and she liked getting away from the work—even if it
was only for an hour.
“Letty,
girl.” Florence whipped out her pad and pencil and frowned at Letty. “What can
I do to convince your mom that she needs to stay and work for me?”
“And
here I thought you were going to ask me for my order.” Letty settled into the
wrought-iron bistro style chair, spread a linen napkin on her lap, and smiled
up at Florence.
“I
don’t need to do that. You get the tomato bisque every day. You’re as boring as
vanilla gelato.” Florence liked to dress as Boho as her shop. Today she had on
an embroidered tunic that she’d most likely picked up on her last trip to
Morocco. Although her grandparents immigrated from Sicily during the second
world war, Florence liked to claim she was African American. Close enough, she would argue when her
husband tried to correct her.
“I
love vanilla gelato!”
Florence
pointed her pencil in Letty’s face. “See? You made my point.”
“If
you want my mom to stay, you’ll need to give her a raise.”
“Honey,
you know she won’t let me pay her. She says that baking soothes her soul.”
“Yeah,
but something or someone is going to have to pay her rent and buy her food.”
“I
don’t need any more food.” Mom emerged from the back room carrying a tray
loaded with two steaming bowls of soup, a small loaf of bread, and a carafe of
water.
Florence
and Letty exchanged eyerolls while Mom deposited the tray of food on the table
in front of Letty.
Mom
straightened and her face brightened into a welcoming smile. “Try this bread. I
made it this morning. Taste it and tell me if you can pick up on the secret
ingredient.”
“Well,
hello there!” A man’s voice boomed across the patio.
Letty
twisted to see the man with the cake-eating dog striding their way. He looked
different clothed. His thick brown hair still had comb tracks in it and he wore
a pair of khakis topped with a hunter green polo shirt boasting a Montlake
Hotel insignia. He smiled and waved before stopping at the gate that led to the
sidewalk café to secure the dog’s leash to the fence.
“Don’t
want a repeat of last night’s fiasco,” he said as he approached. “This is
really fortunate. I hoped to find you, but I didn’t really expect to.”
“You
were looking for us?” Mom flushed while Florence stared with frank curiosity
mixed with admiration.
Letty
poured herself a glass of water and fussed over lining up her silverware.
“I
checked with the hotel to find out the name of the bride and groom, but since
they are on their honeymoon, I tried a different tactic and discovered where
the wedding cake had been made. From here, I hoped to get your name and
address.”
“Why?”
Letty looked up and swept her gaze over the man. Despite his Mountlake uniform,
he was incredibly handsome.
“So
I could apologize properly.”
“You
already did that.”
“Letty,
please!” Mom kicked her under the table. “Please Mr. ?”
“Conner.
I’m Weston Conner.”
“And
I’m Barbara Ashton and this is my daughter, Felicity, and our friend Florence
who owns this bakery.”
Weston
turned his brown eyes on Florence and she simpered beneath his gaze. “So you made the cake my dog so enjoyed last
night?”
“My
mom made the cake,” Letty said.
“But
I’ll make you a sandwich…or anything you’d like,” Florence gushed. “Please
sit.”
Wes
pulled out a chair at Letty’s table and sat down. “That’s nice. I’ll have
whatever.”
“You’re
lucky! We have that! One whatever coming right up.” Florence tucked her notepad
into her tunic’s pocket and headed for the kitchen.
“Wait,
I want to help!” Mom scurried after her friend, leaving Letty and a chattering
patio full of summer tourists alone with Wes.
“So,
you’re a nurse.”
Letty
glanced down at her tell-tale scrubs and sturdy shoes. “How did you know?”
He
grinned.
“I
guess you work at the hotel?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm,
you don’t sound like you love it.”
He
sawed off the slice of bread and slathered it with butter. “It pays the bills.”
“So,
I guess there’s something you’d rather do?”
“I
have a degree in history.”
“That’s
not super useful?”
“No,
but it helps with research. I’m writing a screenplay about the Civil War.”
An
awkward silence fell between them. Letty glanced at her watch.
“You
have to get back to work?” he guessed.
She
nodded.
“Please,
eat your lunch.”
“I
feel weird eating in front of people.”
He
laughed. “Why?”
“My
dad…he hated to listen to people chew.”
“I
bet you have people eating in front of you all the time. As a nurse, you
probably have to feed people.”
“But
that’s different.” She reluctantly picked up her spoon and dipped it into her
soup. It smelled of tomato, basil, and heaven.
“Why?
You don’t need to eat?”
She
ladled her soup to her lips.
A
few awkward moments later, Florence bustled across the patio with a tray laden
with food. “I brought you our five favorite sandwiches.”
Letty
almost spat out her soup in surprise. “You only serve five types of
sandwiches!”
Florence
ignored her. “And we got regular and sweet potato fries. And three different
desserts—lemon custard, raspberry tart, and a tiramisu.”
Letty
set down her spoon and stared at the two trays food carried by Florence and her
mom. “What? Not the chocolate souffle?”
“He
can have that next time.” Florence flushed. “You know it takes at least thirty
minutes to prepare.”
“I’m
overwhelmed,” Wes said. “I don’t know what to say, except I can’t possibly eat
all this food.”
“But
you owe me,” Mom cooed.
“I’m
happy to pay for all of this, but I can’t eat it all.”
“This
is on me,” Mom said.
“Mom!”
Letty pushed away from the table.
“He
doesn’t have to eat it all at once. I intentionally picked things that are good
the next day. He can freeze the desserts—”
“I’m
sorry,” Letty said to the man, “but my mom doesn’t realize that she’s poor
now.”
“I’m
not charging her for the food,” Florence put in. “She’s been working her for
free for years. This is the least I can do.”
“But
why?”
Florence
put her hands on her hips and nodded at Wes. “How can you ask that? Just look
at him!”
“Sure,
he’s handsome, but if you gave free food to every good-looking beach bum you’d
be out of a café in a week.”
“Pardon
her,” Florence said to Weston. “She’s obviously inhaled too much antiseptic
this morning.” She turned to Letty. “Was it a rough morning in the E.R.?”
Letty
shook her finger at her mom and Florence. “You’re both certifiable.” She stared
in horror when she saw Monique, a waitress, unwrap a sandwich and feed it to
Wes’s beagle. “You’re feeding the dog, too?”
“We
want them to come back!” Mom said.
“I
have to go.” Letty climbed to her feet.
“I’ll
walk with you.” Weston pushed away from the table.
“What
about your lunch…and dinner…and next week’s menu?” Letty waved at the food.
“I’ll
come back and get it. Can you wrap it up? Do you mind?” He pulled out his
wallet and dropped a credit card on the table.
Florence
and Mom both gave him goofy smiles.
Letty
shook her head as she left with Weston right behind her. Was it ridiculous that
she could feel him through her thin scrubs? She frowned at the beagle wolfing
down a roast beef sandwich as they passed. What had gotten into her mom? And Florence?
Did they think Weston needed to be fattened up? She slid him a glance. He
looked perfect to her. Of course, he’d looked even better last night in his
swim trunks.
Once
they stepped through the gate, he caught up to her with one long stride. “What
did you mean when you said that your mom is poor now?”
“She’s
running out of money. She has to sell the house and Bentley but keep can keep
one car.”
“She’s
in bankruptcy?”
“She
has to pay a lot of people a whole lot of money.”
“She
got in over her head?”
“It
was my dad’s fault, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.
I get that. I don’t always want to talk about some of my relatives either.” He
glanced over his shoulder. “Do you think Betty will be alright?”
“Sure,
the hospital is right around the corner.”
He
ran his fingers through his hair. “I better not leave her.” He ran back to
unhook the leash from the fence. Minutes later, he caught back up with her.
“You
seem really attached to your dog,” Letty said without looking at him.
“You
could say that,” Wes said. “Do you have a dog?”
“My
mom has a yorkie. We call her Dorkie. She’s going to hate Arizona.”
“Arizona?”
“You
would hate Arizona too if you had to wear a fur coat everywhere.”
“What’s
in Arizona?”
“My
mom is moving in with my grandmother and aunt in Mesa.”
“That
sounds…hot.”
Letty
nodded. “My dad always said that he’d rather be dead in California than alive
in Arizona.”
“I’d
like to meet your dad.”
“No,
you wouldn’t.”
“No?”
She
shook her head.
“Yeah.
Well, you probably don’t want to meet my grandfather, either.”
“It
sounds like we both have shady characters hiding in our family trees.”
“I
think everyone does.” He stopped at the foot of the hill that led to the
hospital entrance.
“It
was nice to meet you, Felicity Ashton.”
“Call
me, Letty. And it was nice to meet you, Weston Conner.”
“Call
me Wes,” he said.
Letty
dropped to one knee so she could look the dog in the eye. “And you, too,
Betty.”
Betty
answered by placing a paw on Letty’s shoulder making Letty’s heart melt like a
wedge of Florence’s cheese.
No comments:
Post a Comment