So, a few days ago, I took a webinar by Bryan Cohen on how to a write sizzling synopsis. Today, I read his book and in just a few minutes, I'm going to start surgery on my book blurbs. But before I do, I decided to look at one of Bryan's book blurbs to see if he follows his own advice. Here's the synopsis of his book The Telepath. (I haven't read this book, but after reading the synopsis, I sort of want to--even though it's not really my thing--which just goes to prove that Bryan knows his synopsis stuff.) My comments are italicized.
Can a teenage superhero stop a mind-controlling menace with a vengeance? This is called a tagline.
Newly-empowered superhero Ted Finley wishes he could spend all his time fighting crime. But between recruitment offers from the federal government and the growing Go Home Alien movement, Ted’s being pulled in a million directions at once. Fortunately for him, he’s got a protector and dream girl in the form of Erica LaPlante. If only she wasn’t keeping secrets from him… This is the intro to the main characters.
As Ted, Erica, and the rest of the team cope with the fallout from their battle against the dark souls, a new evil descends on the town with the ability to control what they think, see, and feel. Erica’s secrets may hold the key to winning the battle but revealing them could sacrifice the war… This is where the two characters come together and the stakes are raised.
The Telepath is the second novel in the thrilling Viral Superhero Series. If you like breathtaking action, laugh-out-loud humor, and a hint of romance, then you’ll love Bryan Cohen & Casey Lane’s edge-of-your-seat story. This is the selling paragraph.
* This book is an edited and revamped new edition of a novel that was previously published as Mind Over Easy. *
Buy The Telepath to continue the super-powered series today! This is the call to action sentence.
In contrast, here's the blurb for my novel Menagerie.
Everyone talks to animals. Some do it every day, although very few stop to listen for a reply. Lizbet Wood does, and this is just one of the things that set her apart. She really doesn’t understand how different she is until violence shatters her solitary existence.
While Lizbet seeks to understand why mother sought refuge on a deserted island in the Pacific Northwest, she comes face to face with the dangers her mother tried, but failed to escape. When her mother is gravely injured, Lizbet is forced from the island and thrust into a world even more complex and threatening than she could have ever imagined. A world where the animals have no say…or do they?
While Lizbet seeks to understand why mother sought refuge on a deserted island in the Pacific Northwest, she comes face to face with the dangers her mother tried, but failed to escape. When her mother is gravely injured, Lizbet is forced from the island and thrust into a world even more complex and threatening than she could have ever imagined. A world where the animals have no say…or do they?
No tagline.
No mention of Declan, the love interest.
No selling paragraph.
No call to action.
Everyone talks to animals. Some do it every day, although very few stop to listen for a reply.
Lizbet Wood does, and this is just one of the things that set her apart. She really doesn’t understand how different she is until violence shatters her solitary existence.
While Lizbet seeks to understand why mother sought refuge on a deserted island in the Pacific Northwest, she comes face to face with the dangers her mother tried, but failed to escape. When her mother is gravely injured, Lizbet is forced from the island and thrust into a world even more complex and threatening than she could have ever imagined. A world where the animals have no say…or do they?
While Lizbet seeks to understand why mother sought refuge on a deserted island in the Pacific Northwest, she comes face to face with the dangers her mother tried, but failed to escape. When her mother is gravely injured, Lizbet is forced from the island and thrust into a world even more complex and threatening than she could have ever imagined. A world where the animals have no say…or do they?
Declan's life is on trajectory mode. He's a star on East End High's basketball team. He's months away from graduation and has plans to attend Duke University. And Nicole has just invited him to her party...But the moment Declan meets Lizbet, his life is thrown into turmoil. She's unlike anyone he's ever met and the creatures she introduces him to will change not only his plans for the future, but everything he believes about life, science, and the animals surrounding him.
If you like breathtaking action, mystery, Schnauzers, and a hint of romance, then you’ll love this edge-of-your-seat story by USA Today bestselling author, Kristy Tate.
Buy Menagerie today and learn what your pets would really like to tell you.
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