Friday, August 30, 2013

How Not to Take Kids to College. Or, The Plan and Doohickey-thinger

I have been blog dark for a few weeks, because I went here:

And here:

Because these guys:

are going here:

It’s been a long road. In between Hawaii and our trip to Utah we had one day to gather, pack and cram belongings into a rental car. We busted our behinds so that my girls could attend freshman orientation. Unfortunately, more than our behinds got busted.

Did you know that there’s a doohickey-thinger that is supposed to be securely tucked under your bumper? It’s actually not supposed to drag on the ground…while you drive on the freeway. At least that’s what the nice policeman who escorted us (in reverse) off the freeway ramp told us. This said doohickey-thinger also wraps under the wheel well, at least that’s what the nice multi-peirced, severely tattooed young man with a six inch bowie knife who so kindly cut off the said doohickey-thinger told me, after he threw the doohickey-thinger into a field of weeds—because there was no way we could fit even an extra banana into the jammed packed car, let alone a black and greasy doohickey-thinger

All and all, if you have to drag a doohickey-thinger, suffer time loss, spend the night in a place like this:
(actually, it wasn't that bad...)
In Nephi, Utah because you are too tired to move another inch, and your room stinks so you open the window but then it smells like cows—because you are actually staying next to a field of cows,
 it’s all good, because after some screaming, venting and threatening to sue and call the better business bureau, the rental car company grovels for compassion and refunds the total cost of the car. Most importantly your daughters actually make it to Provo in time for freshman orientation. And you meet them for dinner, ask about their day, expecting to hear how oriented they are, and they reply, “Oh we didn’t go.”


But it’s all good, because soon I’ll be here:

Not here:

At least that's the plan.

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