Sunday, December 19, 2010
Oh Deer, Envy
Recently I had an experience that’s begging to be told. I’m not very excited about sharing this because I’m not proud of my feelings of envy and vanity. Let me begin by saying I’d had a rough week. A number of very disappointing things (5 to be exact) had happened. Granted if you twisted those things around you could say they were blessings, but I wasn’t interested in twisting. I think its human nature, or at least my nature, to want to run away when things aren’t going as planned and so when Rebecca told me they were thinking of moving to Utah, I was filled with envy. Horrible envy that sat on my shoulders all week, no matter how hard I tried to shove it away. I love my home, I love my friends, I know I don’t need or even want a 6,000 sq. foot house in Utah that costs half the price of my home and comes with twice the yard, but it ate at me for several days.
On Sunday morning I went for a walk in the canyon. Off in the grass were three deer who matched my pace, walking in the same direction. This was interesting, but after about a mile I turned to go home and the deer followed. I turned and at the same time the deer turned. They matched my pace for some time and then they turned and ran directly across my path and eventually disappeared into the woods. A passing runner who had seen the whole thing, said to me, “Wow, you were almost run over by deer.”
A scripture came to mind, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. ”
When I got home, l looked up the scripture and I hadn’t remembered the last bit “And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” Which seemed rather remarkable since I’d just spent a week thinking of (bigger and better) houses.
I told Larry about my deer encounter and he believes that it meant where ever I am I can live in a house dedicated to the Lord. Of course he’d say that, it will take something more miraculous than lonely deer to make him leave California.