I’m lucky for many reasons. One of the reasons I’m lucky is I get to spend large junks of time doing what I love to do and I have friends who love to do the same thing. I belong to two writing groups, one small -- two gainfully employed writers and me -- and one large group, the Orange County Fictionaires. In both groups, I’m on the bottom of the success totem pole, although, next year I’ll be the president of Fictionaires. You maybe wondering why. It’s a fair question and I don’t know the answer, but here’s what happened.
Two Wednesdays ago, after a long tiring day and an afternoon spent with piano students who hadn’t practiced, I was standing in my kitchen stirring chili. “I’m thinking of not going to my writing group tonight,” I told Larry.
There were ample reasons, lack luster piano students, chili to be eaten, TV to watch, but I said, “It’s the time of year they chose next year’s officers and I’m afraid they’ll want to make me president.”
“Why would they make you president?”
I thought about this a realized this was a very good question. After all,Jackie's published more than 80 novels, Neal has a movie deal and last year I made $50 by placing second in a contest. Why would they want me to be president? And, further more, we already had a president – Ben, this year’s vice-president and president elect.
I ate some chili and went to my meeting, happy. I was happy until the break when Ben announced he is moving to Colorado. No president elect. James, this year’s president, looked at me and said, “There’s no one else.” This is not true. I balked, but after a few minutes of arguing, caved.
Why don’t I want to be president of Fictionaires? Another fair question. It’s a great group. I’m in noble, talented company and I’m honored to be among them. But, frankly, I’m tired of being at the bottom. I’m tired of the unflagging writing rejection. I’m tired of trying so hard and placing second. In fact, it’s reasonable to say that if I hadn’t been asked to be president of Fictionaires, I may have stopped going.
I wouldn’t have stopped writing, since that began when I was eight. But, there are times when I certainly want to stop trying.